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Living this life is, to me, an unfolding on many different dimensions. What is actually taking place within, I cannot convey by describing outer events, nor even inner experiences. Nevertheless, some aspects relevant to this work I want to share with you.

As a boy I had a strong aversion to sports, but I was very lively and agile. In my teens, I became extremely intellectual and alienated from my own body, and mistreated it with smoking, drinking, drugs, living on the streets etc. When I was 17, before having learned anything about that, there were times when I started connecting with my body, going into movements, improvising, all by myself. I would just let my body do things without thinking about it. I followed an intuitive call, and responded to an urge in my body. Then I knew I had to move into this direction and first went into theatre work, but was actually more interested in what they do for preparation - not in presenting something, but in experiencing; and not in acting, but in being authentic.

At nineteen years of age, while sitting in meditation, I saw myself in an orange hall, arms and legs cut off. A snake curled down my spine, and as it reached my sacrum, it bit into it. The bite struck through me, and my eyes were flung open. I was here. Totally present. It showed me a direction to go, and my extensive spiritual search afterwards was more motivated with bringing the energy down here, than with rising it up, even though that seemed more familiar to me. Some years later, the Big Tortoise came in a dream, simultaneously biting me into both hands and feet, enabling me to walk and act on it. I'm still learning how to do that; the tortoise is a very patient teacher.

I spent years extensively travelling. I lived in an ecovillage in the mountains in Spain, travelled in a 'caravana cosmica' through Brazil, stayed in Buddhist monasteries in Thailand and, of course, India, where I spent long periods in various ashrams and sacred sites, studied Yoga and received basic training in Ayurvedic treatments in a hospital in Kerala. I also visited and connected with a number of spiritual teachers. I spent much time with John de Ruiter in Canada.

I trained as a movement therapist, studied various bodywork and massage styles and breath work. Additionally, I went into various body awareness techniques, such as Body-Mind Centering, Contact Improvisation, Alexandertechnique, Feldenkrais, Eutonie and others. I particularily felt connected with Continuum Movement. However, what became clear to me is that it isnīt about learning, practicing and teaching techniques, but to find the essence of it and move from that. The inner dimension of the body is unimaginably wider than the outer body. Through everything that takes place in the body, the feelgoods as much as the troubles, deep realities can open up in us. As I'm just simply being with the body, there is this endless pool supplying ever new ways of body experience and expression. All outer learning is to stir the pool, not to substitute it.

In my work experience I came across many common misunderstandings in regards to the body, and was often confronted with the general ignorance towards one's own body. To really benefit from what I have to offer there needs to be a curiosity, an openness and a readiness to dive inside, to get immersed in a consciousness deeper than one's mind view. Then a new reality awakens within one's own physical.

I know that all of this work, as all of life, belongs to something higher, deeper and finer than my personal self. Instead of efforting through my person to get somewhere, to find or achieve something, I gave everything back to where it belongs. It is my innermost being that is here to play in, with and through this body. This space within most wonderfully swims, dives, explores, moves and works in physical existence. It finds, through me, a form. I just stand there in wonder, and enjoy it.

At times, I just am pulled into the body. Sometimes it is more quiet, on a meditative, visionary or energetic level. Sometimes it moves, breathes, turns, wiggles, streams, rolls, waves, spirals, twitches, rumbles, flashes, sounds, dances through this body. It brings about countless openings and realizations on the true nature of the physical. I always know that this is a path I have to follow. It is about something much broader than the personal experience of having a body. It is about being, being in the body. I do my work as an outflow of this true knowing within. I cannot really comprehend, conceptualize nor control it, but be a receiver and an instrument for it. And the same, I can ignite in others.

Within the depth of this body, I found the intimacy and profound love that permeates all of existence. It is here.

Be welcome to it, from the heart of my being body.

Elian